The Five Stages of Grief

Okay, so far we have discussed how your character should work her way through FEAR and CHANGE. By allowing your character to experience these stages of Fear and Change she is well on her way to completing her Arc. But what if you character loses a loved one or experiences a devastating event, an event so powerful it leads to Grief? You guessed it – she must journey through the Five Stages of Grief.

1. Denial or the “this can’t be happening to me syndrome”. Your character looks for their loved one in familiar places, or sets the table in hopes they return. There’s no crying – no acceptance – no acknowledgement of the loss.

2. When reality begins to set in, your character will become angry –”why me?”. Sometimes they may even feel the need to fight back. They get angry at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.

3. Bargaining often takes place next. Your character may attempt to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempt to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.

4. Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future will overwhelm your Hero. They might feel a lack of control, feel numb. Perhaps, even feel suicidal.

5. Finally, there’s acceptance. Your Hero must accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. She must realize that – in the case of divorce — it takes two to make or break a marriage. Or realize that the person who has left them , possibly in death, is gone and that it was not their fault. Your character’s goal should turn toward personal growth – she stays with fond memories of person.

There it is. The third leg of your character’s Arc. Use all three – but at least two — to add dimension to your character.

Next I will show you how and where I use these stages in writing my scripts.

Keep Writng!