I’m back in Raleigh after a wonderful week along the Outer Banks. Beaches. Lighthouses. The Wright Brothers Memorial – it was all good and over way too soon.
On the bright side: I’m back at my coffee shop where I can get good, hot coffee and tasty Bear Claws (alas, there were no Panera Breads at the Outer Banks – bummer) and where I can write. As I have mentioned before, for some reason, I can not write at home. What would Freud say about that? Any way, I’m deep into ACT II of my latest script (a thriller, tentatively titled: BLACKRIDGE OMEGA, INC.) and breezing along at a pretty good clip. With any luck the first draft will be completed by the end of the month and then it will be rewrite after rewrite after rewrite until I get the damn thing as good as I can.
I have also been pretty active on the query-front-lines. Not many ‘yeah, send me the script’ and plenty of ’sorry, not for us’, 
but I soldier on. I have compiled a new list of production companies/producers (around 150 – look out Hollywood, I’m out to get you!) and will start pestering them starting next week. If anyone is interested, I get most of my contacts from a new service called Contactourage (http://contactourage.com/). It costs about $70 per year and is well worth the money. Here’s why. They don’t have a gazillion names in their database — it is growing daily– but more importantly, you can get a company’s email address structure (eg. FirstnameLastinitial@company.com) and use it to construct dozens of other contacts. Do this by uncovering manager and producer names/companies by subscribing to IMDB PRO or the CREATIVE HOLLYWOOD DIRECTORY – neither free – and build your own Hollywood rolodex.
I guess that’s a wrap for today. Time to get a refill, open Final Draft, and,
Keep Writing!
In a previous post (see one below) I mentioned my Hollywood experience with managers and producers, specifically, their comments after reading my scripts. Well, I have spent the last two weeks analyzing – as my limited time permits – several scripts using Shane Black’s rules. I decided on four screenplays: Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang; Die Hard; Se7en; and Lethal Weapon 1. and discovered this about my writing:
1. My writing style is way too serious and matter of fact.
2. My stories have too few twists.
3. My stories have too few set ups and pay offs.
4. No running gags.
5. No humor during serious / tense situations.
As an example of what I learned/discovered, I will use Lethal Weapon 1 as a template to illustrate my point. Not only because this is a Shane Black screenplay, but because pretty much everyone has seen the movie. I have included the page numbers where each device occurs. Here it goes:
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Lethal Weapon
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Act I
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Act IIa
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Act IIb
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Act III
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Twists
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p.1 p.17
|
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p.51 p.69
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P.95 P.95
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Wife’s cooking jokes
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p.6
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p.39 p.40 P.45 p.50 p.53
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p.101 p.103
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Murtaugh’s age jokes
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p.7 p.9 p.23 p.24
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p.35 p.41
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p.101 p.101
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Reference Riggs’ sanity
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p.13 p.16 p.24
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p.32 p.34
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p.59
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p.99 p.102
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Set ups / Pay offs
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p.26/94
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p.44/71 p.46/80
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p.56/61
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p.87/94
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Notice that the gags and twists and references to Riggs’ sanity start early in Act I – giving the reader/audience a glimpse into each character’s character and drawing us into the story.
In Act IIa we learn more about Riggs, Murtaugh and the plot. In addition, a couple of key set ups are put into place.
By Act IIb our heroes are hip-deep in dodo so the gags fall off, but a couple of twists are added to complicate the story.
Finally, during ACT III the action is non-stop but the twists and gags continue (humor in tense situations) and three of the five set ups, pay off.
Bottom line?
I have a ton of work to do in order to bring my scripts up to snuff! Disappointed? Ehh, a little. But, I am really stoked to begin the next leg of my journey in becoming the best writer I can be now that I understand what managers and producers mean when the say, “Liked it, didn’t loveit.”
That was my plan. I learned from the best. Now I will apply those lessons. And then,
Keep Writing!
…writing!
For now.
For a week or two.
But not for good. Never! Never! Never!
Here’s the deal. As you, my faithful two or three blog followers already know, I have been putting my scripts out there. Way out there. To the tune of 300+ queries and eleven (11) requests for scripts and, although there are several scripts still out being read – I hope – the passes have been encouraging. I have received comments like: ‘…well written…’; ‘…like your writing..’; ‘…enjoyed the story…’; ‘…liked certain elements…’; etc. But – and this is the kicker – in the end they all said pretty much the same thing: liked the script, but didn’t LOVE IT.
Why?
Dunno.
Then I read a blog entry over at Scott Myers’ Go Into The Story (http://www.gointothestory.com/) — Shane Black on how he approaches action stories (find the entry here– you’ll have to scroll down just a tad: (http://www.gointothestory.com/search?updated-max=2010-03-11T16%3A00%3A00-05%3A00&max-results=10) and WOW!!! Did it ever open my eyes! Now, all the things Mr. Black said I have read/heard/knew before but…. when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I immediately knew why those producers and managers in Hollywood kept saying, ‘…didn’t love it…’. Please, if you only do one writing related activity today, read this article. Really.
Which brings me to this morning. A balmy 55 degrees, overcast, rainy. The coffee is hot. The Bear Claw is fresh. And I’m ready to begin the next leg of my journey in becoming the best screenwriter I can be. I am shelving my writing for the next two to three weeks and spending my time reading/analyzing/tearing apart scripts based on Mr. Black’s Ten Rules For Action Stories. When I am finished, I will apply what I have learned to my current script, then go back and rewrite, yet again, the four scripts currently making the rounds in Hollywood. When I finish this writing odyssey I want those producers and managers who read my scripts to scream, ‘I LOVE IT!’.
That’s the plan. Learn from the best. Apply what I have learned. And then,
Keep Writing!
….Uh, don’t really have one. Sorry. I guess you will just have to put up with my ramblings – old people have a tendency to do that, you know.
First, still been sending out the queries – every week. I’m sure Hollyweird is getting very, very sick of hearing from me. But, I have a theory about queries and it is this: you need to get your product out there in front of the buyers. Sure, you will get rejected time and time again. Over and over again. But – and here comes the theory part – you only need to find that one person who is looking for the very thing you are selling – serendipity is the screenwriter’s best friend. So, here is my score card to date – and don’t laugh, okay?
Production Companies: one-hundred-ninety-five (195) queries–five (5) requests for scripts–effectiveness: 2.56%. To date there have been no PASSES – but then again, no news – silence – very well could mean PASS.
Management Companies: one-hundred-twenty-three (123) queries–six (6) requests for scripts–efectiveness: 4.88%. To date there have been four (4) PASSES – but encouraging words along the way.
I know these statistics sound horrible, but as I said: this is a numbers game and it only takes one YES. It reminds me of the very old joke:
INT. RUSTY’S BAR AND GRILL – NIGHT
Jeff, 20s, average looking, wears bib-overalls – sits at the bar with his friend, Billy Bob, 20s, . dressed to the nines
Billy Bob turns to Jeff, asks:
BILLY BOB
How do you manage to get laid every damn night?
JEFF
Easy. I just walk up to a foxy babe and say, ‘Do you wanna F**k?’
BILLY BOB
Damn. Don’t you get slapped a lot?
JEFF
Sure. But… I get laid a lot too.
Go out and get slapped — then get laid 
On a related note, there is a new service available to screenwriters that provides valid email addresses for industry professionals. Valid email addresses are the hardest things to come by for us industry-challenged writers and I highly recommend that you check it out. The service is called CONTACTOURAGE and is available for $79 a year to subscribers of TRACKINGBOARD and $99 per year for everyone else. You can subscribe to IMDBPro and/or The Hollywood Creative Directory, but what both sorely lack are email addresses. If you are interested go to http://www.trackingb.com/ and check it out. Disclaimer: I am no way affiliated with either website and I don’t get any compensation for this advert. Come to think of it, I am cutting my own throat by telling you all about this!! I’m creating more competition!! Oh well. Sigh. What the hell.
Finally, some you may be aware of the GITS Club – loosely affiliated with Scott Myers’ Go Into The Story blog. If you haven’t yet checked it out, do so at: http://www.gitsclub.proboards.com/ . It’s free. Fun. And very educational. A chance to link up with like-minded writers. Right now there is an interesting experiment in its embryonic stage where a group of perfect strangers – well, maybe they’re not perfect – intend to write a script via emails where each writes a twenty page segment and an editor will splice them together, tie things up, and present the world with a very unique reading experience. Come on over and check it out – sign up to participate in the experiment. Be a part of history.
Okay, that’s probably all I have time for – gotta get back to writing. I’m deep into ACT I of my new thriller: BLACKRIDGE OMEGA, INC. – and we all know you can’t complete anything unless you
Keep Writing!
Do you struggle with the concept of High Concept? I know I do with each and every script. Coming up with THE High Concept for your script is frustrating in the least and almost impossible at best – hard to figure what those characters in Hollyweird consider High Concept especially after this week: Now It’s Erector Set: 3D Movie (No Kidding). (See Scott Myer’s blog Go Into The Story : http://www.gointothestory.com/2010/02/now-its-erector-set-3d-movie-no-kidding.html).
I mean, come on, how can a writer ever figure out what Hollyweird REALLY wants?
You can’t. Never. Won’t happen. Why, you might ask?
Because they DON’T KNOW THEMSELVES! Or, to quote the one and only William Goldman: ” Nobody knows anything!”
So, what to do. The first step is to decide right off the bat that you are going to write the script you want to write. Don’t write to Hollyweird’s expectations. Don’t write to current trends. Just write the best damn script you can and let the market come to you. And one way of insuring you ARE writing a damn good script is to make sure your concept does not suck. Here’s how:
First, get rid of that idea that High Concept is anything that can be pitched in one sentence OR can be expressed as X meets Y. Second, we will explore several techniques to develop your scripts ‘high concept’.
The first technique is the Steve Kaire Method. Mr. Kaire states… “The premise or logline is the core of High Concept. My comprehensive definition of High Concept is comprised of five requirements, each of which is mandatory. The five requirements are in descending order of importance. Therefore, numbers one and two are the most important as well as the most difficult to attain. But meeting only several of the requirements is not enough. All five requirements have to be met for success in achieving the “slam dunk” project everyone is looking for.”
Here are the five (5) requirements:
Requirement #1: Your premise should be original and unique.
Requirement #2: Your story has to have mass audience appeal.
Requirement #3: Your pitch has to be specific.
Requirement #4: The potential is obvious.
Requirement #5: Your pitch should be one to three sentences long.
To read more go to: http://www.writersstore.com/article.php?articles_id=609
Second, Ray Frensham in Teach Yourself Screenwriting suggests two methods:
*The rule of threes. *Contrasts.
An example of The Rule of Threes would be: Five criminals. One line-up. No coincidence. (Usual Suspects) And an example of Contrasts: He was the perfect weapon – until he became a target. (The Bourne Identity)
I know… these sound like tag lines, but… whatever works, right?
Third, Colorado author Jameson Cole, developed a methodology that concentrates on the character and the conflict: There are three elements of character: PHYSICAL; SOCIOLOGICAL; PSYCHOLOGICAL. And three elements of conflict: PAST – the relevant backstory; PRESENT – a current dilemma usually requiring a goal-oriented decision; FUTURE – what happens if failure occurs. Using In The Line of Fire as an example:
In The Line Of Fire:
PHYSICAL – An ageing
SOCIOLOGICAL – Secret Service agent,
PSYCHOLOGICAL – who feels guilty
PAST – for failing to save President Kennedy from being murdered
PRESENT – duels a deadly assassin. The outcome of their battle
FUTURE – will decide whether the current president lives or dies and whether the agent’s troubled past will give way to peace.
In The Line Of Fire: An ageing Secret Service agent, who feels guilty for failing to save President Kennedy from being murdered, duels a deadly assassin. The outcome of their battle will decide whether the current president lives or dies and whether the agent’s troubled PAST will give way to peace.
Finally, here is a technique I have decided to use based on the principal of the Four Quadrant Movie. What’s this, you might ask? Simple, sort of. A Four Quadrant Movie is a movie that appeals to: men under 25; women under 25; men over 25; women over 25. Pretty much everyone. Here is what I have started to do in my own scripts. First, I lay out the quadrant, and then I ask myself a series of questions. Like this:
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men over 25
I
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women over 25
II
|
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women under 25
III
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men under 25
IV
|
- Who are the characters that resonate with each quadrant?
- What is the story that resonates with each quadrant?
- How do we merge them together into a HIGH CONCEPT story?
Simple, right? Well, maybe not at first but with practice it should become second nature. I mean, your first script wasn’t easy either, was it? Well, ah, maybe not for you, Diablo, but the rest of us mortals…
Keep Writing!
Good morning, my peeps. Hope you all had a successful week of writing.
Just a quick update on how the query process has been going for me. First, I must pass along props to my writing friend Donna who graciously took it upon herself to rewrite my query letter and WOW! She did a great job. Really. Made me see the error of my ways. I immediately rewrote ALL of my queries – to management firms and production companies – based on her style/method. The results were impressive.
Normally, when you send out cold queries you can expect a 2 – 3% response rate: 100 queries == 3 requests for your script. With Donna’s wonderful rewrite – and this only applies to production companies so far – I sent out 36 queries and received 3 requests for my script – something like 8%. Now, the thing to keep in mind is that these were same day requests – requests I sent out on Friday morning. Very cool. The true results will be known over the next two weeks as it sometimes takes that long for those busy folks in Hollywood to get around to answering your email. I have had requests come as much as four weeks after sending out the query. Go figure.
Ok, now for the scorecard for this week:
Production Companies:
- thirty-six (36) queries.
- Four (4) invalid email addresses.
- Three (3) requests for scripts.
Management Firms:
- sixty-two (62) queries.
- Four (4) invalid email addresses.
- To date no requests.
The thing to realize here — these queries were all sent on Friday, Lincoln ’s Birthday, a day most firms only worked a half day (Monday is a holiday, so they were all shooting for a long weekend) and it will be a week or two before I can harvest the fruit of my labors.
So, for this year – 2010 – I have sent out:
Production Companies:
- sixty-five (65) queries.
- Seven (7) bad email addresses.
- Eight (8) requests for scripts.
- Three (3) rejects.
- Five (5) still reading. Or, like I’ve said before, maybe a NO, but I will follow up.
Management Firms:
- one hundred-thirty (130) queries.
- Eight (8) bad email addresses.
- One NO THANKS.
Am I sensing a pattern here with these management types? I think what it boils down to is this: produces are ALWAYS looking for a good script to produce. Managers have more writers to manage than they know what to do with. Just have to keep plugging away. Remember the Three Ps?
Anyway, that’s pretty much a wrap for this week. Time to get back to work and to
Keep Writing!
Just a quick post to share with you a post I made over at the GITS Club message board – if you haven’t stopped by and registered I highly recommend you do so. Plenty going on over there and many, many helpful folks. And, of course, thanks to Jeff Messerman for starting and running the board (http://www.gitsclub.proboards.com/index.cgi) – so, what are you waiting for? Oh! Yeah. My post……
I’ve been asked by Jeff if my day job was in advertising and by lizzo1014 if I am a copy editor.
Nope. Neither.
I’m a programmer by day – screenwriter by night. But this got me thinking — a dangerous situation at best. It got me thinking: how does the day job influence my screenwriting?
As a programmer I have to be a problem solver. I have to be creative. And when I am coding, I have to think ahead – if I code this function this way, how can I use it somewhere else; if I do this first, what has to happen next? What happens four or five functions down the road? You get the idea.
Programming and screenwriting – or writing in general – require similar skills: understanding structure; the ability to think ahead; solving problems in creative ways.
So, how does your day job influence your writing? We are now open for discussion.
Keep Writing!
Hello fellow scribes – hope you all have been doing well and writing like crazy.
Down here in North Carolina we have survived yet another bad stretch of winter weather. Last week we had five inches of snow – ok, I can hear you northern types laughing, now stop it! – and it kept me from the coffee shop on both Saturday and Sunday. I now know how a junkie feels when he goes cold turkey. I do have an office at home, but, somehow, it just is not the same. But I digress.
I’m still sending out queries. Now that Sundance is over I have put my focus on production companies and will until, oh, say April. My scorecard for 2010 runs something like this:
Management firms: sent out sixty-eight (68) queries so far and have had three (3) bad email addresses; five (5) requests for scripts; three (3) rejects; two (2) still reading – or, maybe, it’s a NO and I will never hear from them (I will follow up in a week or two and just ask).
Production Companies: sent out twenty-nine (29) queries this week: four (4) bad email addresses; one (1) NO THANKS. Not done with these people just quite yet. Remember, I live by the Three Ps, my peeps: Perseverance. Perseverance. Perseverance.
Which brings me to what I call The Silly Season: screenwriting contests. Do you enter? Which ones? Have any of you had any success and if so, what did it get you? The reason I ask is this: every year I vow NOT to enter contests. I think – except for the Nicholl – they are a waste of time and a huge waste of money. Yet… Yet, I enter a few every year. I know. Practice what you preach, Scherer! But, like most un-produced scribes I am seeking validation.
Not only are we writers loners – writing is a lonely profession after all – we are needy people, too. We need/want validation. How else can we know how we stack up against the competition? How else can we know if we can write at all? Sure, Mom and Aunt Sally rave about our stories – they’re suppose to – it’s their job to encourage and nurture – but…. It’s not the same. So let me know if you intend to enter any contests this Silly Season and which ones. As for myself: The Nicholl; the PAGE International; AAA Screenplay; and Final Draft.
As for my writing? Well, I have put the Sci-Fi comedy tentatively titled Peter and Ba’al on the back burner for now. I intend to write the screenplay, but I don’t have the need to do it just yet. After a few weeks of character sketches, researching locations, etc. that burning need to write it hasn’t arrived. The story is already outlined, sort’a. I wrote this originally as a short story – so I know how it will flow and how it ends. I just don’t feel like writing it. I do, however, want to write a new script as yet untitled; a story based on the Prometheus Mythology. I’m excited about this baby and when I put this post to bed I will begin my research and collect copious notes and develop story ideas. More in the coming weeks.
Okay, my peeps, I guess that’s a wrap for this week. Stay warm. Be cool. And as always,
Keep Writing!
Hello, my Peeps – hope you all are doing well.
Not much writing accomplished this week – but I did do a rewrite of one of my older scripts. Much improved if I do say so myself. Now, I need to revisit the story line and ensure the story logic is correct, tighten up a few scenes, ratchet up the tension a bit. The script is called DELUDED and the logline runs something like this:
A jilted homicide detective falls for the sister of his high school sweetheart while struggling to solve a series of murders only to discover his new girlfriend’s affections have nothing to do with love.
Deluded is in the vein of Sea of Love meets Basic Instinct.
As for my attempts at landing representation? Sent out an additional thirty-seven queries – two were kicked back for invalid email addresses. I swear this is the most frustrating part of the query process – finding reliable/valid email addys. But, this is where the Three Ps come into play:
Persistence. Persistence. Persistence.
If an address doesn’t work for me – say, first-initial-last-name@yaddayadda.com – I will try: last-name, then first-name, then first and last initials, ad nausea. You get the idea. It takes time – but it mostly works.
Like to point you one or two faithful readers out there in CyberSpace to a new screenwriting message board: The GITS Club Message Board at http://www.gitsclub.proboards.com/ — swing on by and give it a test drive.
Well, that’s a wrap for this week.
Keep Writing
Greetings fellow scribes – hope you all are doing well and got some writing done this week.
If you read one of my recent posts – okay, the last post – you may recall I mentioned my quest for representation. Well, the quest has been in progress a week or two and the scorecard is somewhat encouraging. I have been concentrating on querying managers, waiting to approach production companies after Sundance. Here’s what has happened to date:
Sent out 36 queries. Had 3 emails bounce – invalid email addresses. Received 4 responses: 3 requests for scripts and 1 neutral pass – ‘…not taking on new clients at this time’. Needless to say I immediately sent scripts to those requesting managers. Of those three requests – one has already passed. But it was, in my mind, an encouraging pass. Here’s why:
This particular manager – well respected, and I think you would recognize the name – gave me the first real encouraging response I’ve yet to receive. Here is what this manager said about my screenplay, Cardinal Sin:
Had a chance to read CARDINAL SIN today and thought you did a great job. Really well-written. Though I really liked it, unfortunately it’s just not enough for me to champion. I really appreciate you sending this my way. Keep me in mind for any future projects.
Cool, huh?
I immediately replied asking the obvious question: What did you mean by ‘just not enough for me to champion’? I speculated in my email that the comment meant the story wasn’t BIG enough. The manager’s response: ‘I meant I just didn’t love it enough to champion.’
Okay, I can live with that. What I take away from this exchange is this: keep sending Cardinal Sin to managers and/or producers until I find that one person who does love it enough to champion.
Another takeaway from all this: the 3Ps will pay off. What are the 3Ps you might ask?
Perseverance. Perseverance. Perseverance.
You can also add to that,
Keep Writing!
